24 October 2015

Movie: The Unholy (1988)

Bgrade horrors continue. This morning it's The Unholy. A priest is seduced and killed (it you like red heads, you'll like this scene), then we move forward 3 years and Fr. Michael is called to save a suicide. He gets thrown out a window. And is unharmed. He is the one.
Fr. Michael goes and investigates, and reopens the church (where priest#1 died). It's going for atmospheric, but comes across as a daytime soap.
Oh we've just found out the nightclub owner is the devil. Bloody nightclubs. Bloody yoof.

Michael won't sleep with the virgin to save her soul. He's such a soultease.
"dear god what will you have me do"

Midget demons!!! they've got fucking midget demons!!!
Papa demon is now feeding Fr. Mike some of his flesh, and burning his eyes out. As you do. There is an awful lot of dry ice, flashback scenes, and, oddly, reference to a dentist. Millie (our simpering virgin) has returned, and is breathlessly screaming and shaking her head while papa demon comes for her white meat. The demon has a very Gene Simmons tongue, and now Fr. Mike - having got a Hulkamaniacs power up (from god) is ripping out the nails that bound him, and laying the smackdown on the papa and midget demonoids. The church is collapsing into a portal to hell, and so the demons are vanquished. Millie rushes to the good fathers aid.

This was truly a trial to sit through. 

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