Movie: Gymkata

Todays quality viewing doesn't come the current pile of 12 movies on 3 DVDs for a fiver pile, rather a friend recommended this. In a "it's your kind of movie' way, based on err, well, most of the movie reviews I post here (in my defence, I have also watched The Revenant and Tale of Tales in the last few weeks...).
For a little context, the writer was my friends next door neighbour, and even cooler - this is his father.

So, Gymkata (1985).
Following the credits we've had some guy doing gymnastics, and now Ninjas! Fuck yeah. The guy is now being shot at by a Chuck Norris look alike, but with a bow and arrow. And now back to gymanastics (parallel bars, for those following at home). Our champion gymnast has been recruited by the US government, to prevent nuclear attack. I'm not making this up. Honest. They have to enter Palmistan, and 'play the game', which isn't, apparently, prostitution. Lots of other countries are also training their atheletes for this event. The tension is making my pants blow up. OMFG they've even got Palmistan's princess to help train him. She's promptly tied him up and smacked him over. Brilliant.

A generic looking asian is spouting nonsense aphorisms, with a hawk on his arm. It's so bad, I have to give you an image.
Following some very appalling acting/script Princess is now massaging him with a gaping blouse, and he rolls her over for a soft focus romantic shagfest [cut away]. Christ almighty.

After wandering through a very fake looking salt mine, we're in a souk / market. Princess is very excited. Everyone looks like Borat, and now one of his minions has been shot (with an arrow). So it's time for appalling kung fu !!! huzzah !!!!
He's also very keen on a red (white n blue) jumper, I suspect this acts a highly effective prophylactic. The generic foreign town they're running around looks more Italian (maybe Spanish?) than anything else. But he's doing martial gymnastics!! Oh thankfully he's also a superb shot with a gun. American action hero gymnasts, everything you need ...
And now a very long chase, gun fight, scene. Painfully long. There is no continuity in this movie, it lurches from scene to scene even worse than Harry Potter.
But we have ninja's. Again. so all is not lost. And now, for the race, they're running through cornfields, being chased by ninja's.  And now feasting on the day before the race. Plot is very confused. If it's there at all.
Not wanting to look to closely an continuity issues: but why is the princess Thai looking, and her father a very white chap?
More cornfields!!! And walking over pigs. Yes, pigs. I don't pretend to understand it either.