Movies: Manos, Hands of Fate

I've seen this before, at least twice. And it's dire. I'm approaching this highly caffeinated and hoping I can cope.

Manos: Hands of Fate (1966)

This movie is rated as #5 on the all time worst by IMDB. It's not an unfair comment. The rockabilly type soundtrack is quite fun, but the scripting is appalling, the dubbing worse, and really everyone should watch this, more than once. Who-ever was the editor for this movie deserves a bullet (or medal) for the cuts...

A nice wholesome American family head off in the car, ending up on some backroads, which as we all know, means CULTISTS !! [you'll note that True Detective used the same theme as Manos, see influential]
The Master is away! But the wholesome family is lost! woe! The master likes her, this bodes well for her, not so much for the husband. The daughter (and fluffy black poodle thing) are happily playing until, ARGGHHH, the dog is killed. 'Get back in the house damnit!' it's all on for young and old [(c) BHR].  FFS the acting in this movie makes Orlando Bloom look like an academy award winner. Oh dear, it's only 20mins in, I've still got 48mins to go. Pray for me dear readers.
Again with the old man and young wife thing. Ahh the 60s. And the demands to do stuff to the mexicans, ahhhh cultural awareness.
They won't let them escape, and now the child has run off. Cue much wailing from the woman.
I will say Manos has surprisingly good taste in women, even if the Master looks like a bad mexican impersonator.
oh manos, thou you dwelst in the deepest caverns...
superb stuff. Hang on, did the Master just rub his nipples?? I don't need to see that! Shocking stuff. The Master is now pissy that his harem keeps arguing, well what the hell did he expect? And now, in a surprise to no-one, the harem are fighting each other - to some quite cool sax lead jazz. Sadly no jelly wrestling, think they missed a trick there.
(25mins to go, I can do it! I can !!)
Ahhh another wife fighting scene. If one went well, two will be better [Iron Maiden adopted this approach for guitarists, see influential].

The Master now has a burning hand. It's getting very biblical. But he's getting more crazy, and his wives are getting very very lippy. Our slightly less wholesome family are now making their escape, although the wife is complaining a lot, thankfully she's got a strong man to help.

Ahhh superb stuff. You all need to see this.

I am too good to you lot, here's the complete movie: