6 December 2015

Movies: Prime Evil

Sunday. B-grade, horrors.

Prime Evil (1988)

We open (the voiceover helpfully informs us) in the middle ages during the Black Death, with a bunch of priests who are pledged To Satan. We quickly switch to the modern day, in New England, where more priests are sacrificing a naked virgin for 13 years of more power. Woohoo there's even dirt spot on the camera for one scene.
Oh dear god, there's a woman wearing lycra looking like superman, it's not pretty. Not pretty at all.

Two girlfriends are discussing sex, they end up fighting concluding with the throwaway line "Don't you want to get poked?".
A nun is going to be sent undercover to the satanists, for some highly convenient reason she knows all about it. We switch to some trendies shagging, with a Lurch like character snaking around. Things end badly. Ohhh the non Lurch guy knows karate (well it is the 80s).
Sleazy priest is making moves. smooth (this is one of the satanic priests). The nun has been accepted into the Satanists!
it's fair to say this movie doesn't rock along. There's a lot of bad 80s stuff. Painful stuff.

The devil has appeared, he's either got cornflakes stuck on his face, or some serious acne issues. It's tough being the devil.
Bad priest is successfully making moves on the chicky babe (Alexandra). I've kinda lost the will now, but the end is in sight.


(note: you *might* be able to find the entire movie on youtube...)

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