20 December 2015

Movies: Track of the Moon Beast

Coffee. Post gig Sunday. Papers finished, nice xmassy type music (Gesuldo's Madrigals) finished. Must be time for bgrade happiness.

Today - Track of the Moon Beast (1976). We have an asteroid going to hit the moon, a native american dancing, and a small man sitting at a very large desk. The credits suggest the producer had three assistants, and a script assistant, this bodes well...

We open with a wide long shot of a motorbike coming towards us, an nice homage to Mr Arabia, our motorcyclist appears to be an archeologist...oh cock, I have seen this flick before. Ah well, in for an espresso...  Some forced exposition to introduce characters (tick mark). I think I watched the MST3K version. Oh there's a lizard. No really, I suspect that'll be a highlight.
Kathy, a photo journalist is hitting on our archeologist Paul. I know his name now as Kathy has said 'Paul' about 5 times in the last minute. Yikes!! A meteorite has fallen and hit our hero, sadly this hasn't improved his acting, or hairstyle.

We have a song now. It's so bad I'll include it below.

Paul is changing. (part of me wants to complete that by saying, becoming cosmic). And he's beginning to nibble on people, not in that sexy toe-sucking way. Thankfully the cops have pulled in our native american as an expect (cos the cops had seen something they'd never seen before, at which point I know I'd call in an native american).
Apparently the man was killed by a Tyrannosaurus rex. Yes. Their reasoning was as good as you'd expect.
there is an awful lot of nodding in this movie, which is certainly better than their dialogue, so I'm not complaining. Now our NA remembers an old legend he heard about the same thing happening. Wise NA. The lizard who walked like a man. Only 30mins to go. Be strong. Paul's weird brain growths are multiplying, and he's dominated by the moon. Everyone is very worried. Why god why [a question the script assistant shoudl have asked themselves]. Things are now dire - from a viewing perspective - I hope it ends soon. The tension is too much.

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