The Almost-Theres, and the WTF were they thinking albums of 2009

Let’s skim over the almost made it into the top 10, but didn’t. 

Mos Def - the Ecstatic

Gazpacho - tick Tock (hey it’s really good, but no-where near as good as Night)

Wishing tree - ostara (it’s definitely a grower)

Pineapple thief - 3000 days (it’s a compilation, but is essential)

Ramblin’ Jack Elliott - A stranger here (legend returns, Joe Henry produces, perfection)

Dimmer - Degrees of existence (S2H nailed it by saying it lacks flow, it’s an album for the ipod generation)

Now let’s get bitchy.

Tilt - Million Dollar Wound

Steve Vantsis who co-wrote Fish’s 13th Star album left, leaving Fish without a composer who knew a decent hook, and could end a song, and Vantsis without a lyricist. Tilt annoutnced they would release EPs not albums. In their defence, it’s an attitude Bruce Springsteen should consider. But the album is crud. Some redemption in some songs, but an EPs worth? nah. Boring and lacking the vitality of 13th Star. Vocalists are boring, and the songs sound over-produced. Anyone who doubts me, send me an email and I’ll give you my copy.

Eric Woolfson - The Alan Parsons Project that Never Was

Aside from MJ, it’s probably bad form to speak ill of the dead. The dead in this case being half of the sublime Alan Parsons Project (no choccy fish for guessing the other half). As the APP they created some stunning albums, and the recent remastering process simply confirmed that. While AParsons continued the band, even heading out for live tours (!), Woolfson wandered off to theatre and musicals - including Freudiana which I’ve blogged about before. 

Following the remasters, EW decided to complete some unfinished APP songs - something that could have been brilliant and exciting, but as it’s in the ‘how could you fuck it up’ section you’ll have guessed, wasn’t. There are some reasonable songs in there, but there’s no chance of them escaping thanks to the over-production which, I suspect, even Brian May would say ‘oohhh that’s a bit much’. To keep it English, this album is akin to English cooking, boil to buggery, boil some more. Serve. The vomit has more flavour.

Muse - The Resistance

Well the music press fell over themselves trying to fawn over Muse’s latest. Dickheads. It’s crap. And that’s from a reasonably hard-core fan who found them before Origin of Symmetry. 

Muse have always worn their influences pretty openly, Queen, Pet Shop Boys, classic rock, touch of prog, glam, Bowie etc. But on this one, it’s no-longer hints, it’s full on pastiche. The ‘Muse-ness’ has gone, replaced with a bad covers band. I’ve made it through the album 3-4 times, spending most of it going oh thats X, that’s X, that’s X done really badly. The symphonic suite, which I’d have thought would have caused the music press to diss Muse (but didn’t- WTF?), is ok, but nowhere near as special as it’s been made out to be. 

Bring back Muse. The slyly hat tipping tribute band. Not the OTT covers band.

Marillion - Less is More

Hard-core Marillion fan puts new album in the WTF category? Shock! Horror! Broadsheet scandal!!! Jeez it’s bad. The band, in absence of H’s desire to write more lyrics, decided to record some classic Marillion tunes in acoustic mode. So far, yeah OK, I can cope. Sadly their reimagings are dull, lifeless, and all end up sounding like the Beatles. But not in a good way. Songs are made, paradoxically, more complex and the life is sucked from them, like a whore making the last line count. 

I’ve played it three times, liked a few bits, saw the concert (shite!), and have relegated L=M, the album, somewhere near the bottom of my CD collection. 

Passionless, overly complex, dull. Words that critics frequently use to describe prog, in this case, I’m joining them.

Transatlantic - Whirlwind

Oohh another Marillion related album in the WTF category. Transatlantic are a special case tho, a prog-super group (Marillion, Dream Theater, ex-Spocks Beard, Flower Kings) who have released two albums, two live albums, then hibernated for 7 years until unleashing the Whirlwind on us. Thanks guys. 

As a band, they are over the top, progging it to levels prog shouldn’t be progged to, Spinal Tap’s 11 for prog. Progven.

I kinda like the first album as it’s so bonkers, the second is fun, the third appears to be taking themselves seriously. 

Do yourself a favour, watch X-Factor, it’ll hurt less.

Ahhh, now that feels better.

B.