We wandered along to the 300 yesterday, with the expectation that it would be bad. We are quite seasoned b-grade watchers, but this was something else. The reviews, which haven't been kind, have given it around 1-1.5 stars out of 5. This is optimistic. Here's some tips from our movie watching experience:
* if you are a teenage boy, or have the mental capacity of a teenage boy, you'll love it
* if you replace spartan with 'republican' the opposition with 'democrat' and call the greek government the 'united nations' it makes a bit more sense
The acting is wooden, in the same way that Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly are convincingly outacted by the ship in Pirates, so too is the lead outacted by pretty much everything. The directing is hamfisted with the subtletly of a sledgehammer, the director also wrote the script wchih is always a good sign for a bgrade. If nothing else it saves on paying another person. And his scriptwriting is also highly cheesy and amusing, complete with long dramatic shots following utterly crap lines.
The CGI and lighting etc was good, but got a bit blah blah blah oh look it looks the same - again!
The bigbad man (either Xerses ?spelling? or Kofi Annan, depending on your take) is more camp than Julian Cleary. He was wonderful although the movie missed a great opportunity to have the first mirror ball in ancient greece! Again more evidence that gays shouldn't be in them military since his team lost! Wow the parallels are just frightening!
Useful things we did learn about Sparta: they had a wonderful dental care plan, or that fluorodation of water can be dated back to Sparta. Spartan warriors were real men, and their women real women (i'm resisting the urge to complete the Douglas Adams line there) and real men fight commando.
We laughed a lot during the movie, but sadly it dragged on to the point were the laughter turned to tears as no end was in sight...
It's probably worth seeing at the Embassy cos its nice and big and loud n stuff, but don't expect anything watchable.
Love, B.
4 comments:
However I did like it where the lead guy kicks one of the characters into a pit - I liked the way his cape moved v reminiscent of keanu in the matrix - I loved the way his coat moved highly sexy and same with the spartan person. I do need to say really what did you expect? An american film, shot in america, made for americans and well starring a lot of them - it was never going to be outstanding was it? I mean if they can muck up Age of Innocence (which was similar in sense that costuming was A grade beautiful as were the sets but acting and script were a shambles)they can muck up anything....
S.
Also that real, strong, independent women should allow themselves to be raped for the good of their man. After all, that is apparently where her true strength was all along...
Nice man you are master salmond
:-)
S.
Did anyone point out that in classical times, the 300 Spartans of Thermopylae were a by-word for "heroic manlove"? Or would that fart all over the Republican values?
Post a Comment