Pirates III

A recap: Pirates I - very good, original and enjoyable; Pirates II, still OK, not great but enjoyable.

So Pirates III, which I saw today. Bluntly - wait for DVD if you must see it. The movie itself is bloated clocking in just under 3 hours, and the script - such as it is - is missing the vital ingredient, plot. The scenes with Depp are great, but sadly one man who isn't in every scene doesn't a movie make. The first 30-40 minutes are painfully slow, then Depp turns up and things look up. Sadly they slow down again. Dramatically slow in fact. Jeez you'd think Besson was directing its so fuckin slow. As per usual the boats look good and convincing out-act Keira and Orlando. But that shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. But I get feeling the money was spent on special effects without much concern for how the scenes link together.
Keith Richards is sadly underutilised - but is a bit of a highlight in a movie sadly missing highlights of any type.
Plot holes abound, but possibly the worst is the single-minded controlling East Indian Co. Admiral dude guy who at a critical moment freezes. Thats totally out of character from all the rest of his actions. Basically I was *that* close to walking out of the movie. And I don't do that. So that puts it in Matrix III level and Royal Tenenbaums which I wanted to leave, but was stuck in the middle of a row.

Don't go.

Save yourself, rewatch the first one, or better still go watch Captain Blood or Sea Hawk (both Errol Flynn and both how action boat flicks should be made).

Love, B x