2 May 2010

Movies wot I has seen

It's been kinda crappy weather recently so I've watched some movies. Here's some brief summaries of them:

The Mighty Peking Man
Oh yeah, this is bad. So bad it's great. Scientists (yup, always scientists) read a report of a giant ape-man and decide capturing it will gain them rewards, riches, women etc. And, conveniently, there's a drunk broken explorer (his woman had recently left him) who doesn't care anymore and will therefore be ideal to lead the expedition. Huzzah! Peking-ho!
But wait, we know nothing of his backstory! Quick, dire dialogue to prompt...wait for it ... a montage!!! Oh yeah baby. Lots of happy couple shots, then disaster he comes home early to find his beloved, who always wanted to be in the movies, in bed with his director friend! Shock, horror, oh noes!
Back to the expedition to find trials and tribulations awaiting our intrepid hunters. Tigers, elephants, confused villages, but wait, what's that? Why it's Michelangelo's hairy hand of god, sweeping our leader off. My what a big hairy ape you are. Hmmm wot does every asian ape need? yes, a blonde western woman with a large proportion of boobs hanging out - she shouts orders to the ape, and he listens.
Yes, in the first 30 minutes, if one wants to read far too much into the story, we have had a damning indictment on capitalism, and now western hegemony over asian countries.
But now romance between our hero, and the booby blonde raised by a giant ape. Why look, she's got him two giant melons. Move forward a bit, and the ape is being taken to the mainland for show, and the girl is going with our hero - thankfully he's got her some clothes so she doesn't have to wear those horrid jungle clothes. Of course she wants to wear leather cut off shorts and a tight leather top.
Things went bad for the city, and there's now a large angry ape blowing up tonka toys and climbing buildings (hmmm) and generally looking pissy about things. Unbelievable bad, awesome pastiche of KKong, Godzilla, Mowgli.

Undead
It's an Aussie movie, so the title explains the plot in a way the locals can cope with (heh heh). An alien invasion, a gun toting loner, zombies, nut job cops, and much comedy. First half is superb, second half tries to explain itself by making a convoluted conspiracy plot. That does detract from the quirky low-brow charm of the movie, but over all - fun, meaningless, guns, death, zombies, re-animation.

Triangle
It's low budget, it's a thriller, and damn it's good. Confusing, gun-toting hunters, tightly written script, set on a boat, basically find this and watch it. It's interesting, engaging, and makes you think. Certainly a cut above the usual thriller.

Me.
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